Money Spoils Relationships When not Tamed Properly

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Are relationships and money talk really paradoxical? Considering how many studies list financial issues as a leading precursor to relationship conflict, the obvious answer may be yes.
 Rather, conflict arises due to the underlying values money tends to represent.
 How we use this energy becomes representative of who we are and what we value most, as indicated by our money messages.
 As a result, conflict frequently arises -- not because of lack of money, but because we misunderstand the messages our money behavior sends to ourselves and others.
 What does it say to yourself and your loved ones, for example, if you are excessively thrifty and tend to hoard your hard-earned money? Perhaps such behavior indicates someone who is cheap.
 Meanwhile, this behavior may transmit the message to yourself that you question your ability to earn more in the future, or that money is a scarce commodity.
Despite our own best intentions, misguided and disconnected money messages often demonstrate values, beliefs and priorities that differ dramatically from our love ones' -- and it is this incongruity that frequently leads to conflict.


How can we avoid falling into this trap of money miscommunication?

First, understand your money behavior.
Are you a spendthrift, hoarder, risk-taker, etc.


Second, determine if your money behavior truly expresses the deeper you.
Harness the energy of money to support who you really want to be and what you want your relationships to be.
 Money often is a very personal, quasi-taboo topic, more so than religion, politics and even sex.
 Learn to understand what money means to you, your partner and others in your life.
 Discuss the ways your money behaviors may or may not be consistent with these underlying emotions.
 We are constantly inundated with financial rhetoric from the outside world that can easily derail us and our relationship from acting deliberately or in our best interest.
 Hearing that we must save as much as possible, above all else, translates into our saving out of fear.
 Many of the external messages may make sense, but be aware of making financial decisions based more on emotion, namely fear, rather than in the context of nourishing yourself and your relationships.


Tuning in to the way we interact with money and remaining cognizant of the money messages we send out enhances the intimacy, strength, and longevity of our relationships.